Thank You!!

Thank you so much for you willingness to donate to this family!  They were able to accomplish a lot with your help.  I am in awe at how many generous people stepped up to help.  We could not have reached our goal without you! Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. 

Sincerely,

Roxanne Barlow

A chance to help!

Here is your chance to help a sweet little family leave Colorado City, Arizona, the FLDS community.  They are a family that is dear to me - so I am calling on my wonderful family and friends for help.  Several of you already know Jeff's backstory but if you don't - I have included mine.   My name is Roxanne.  I have never really shared my story - I always seem to share my husband's - but I got an idea this morning that somewhat requires me to tell my story in order for you to understand why I am asking for help.  I did not grow up in the twin cities of Hildale, Utah and Colorado City, Arizona - in fact I didn't even know anything about it until I met my husband Jeff.  He did grow up there and he still has a LOT of family there.  Now, I'm no writer - so this probably won't flow like it should and any person who wants to play a cruel joke on an actual writer (or anyone who corrects grammar as they hear or read it) should tell them to read this and try to not be driven crazy by my writing style.  With that said, my intentions are good and all I want to do is help. 

When I met my husband he was about 4 years removed from Colorado City or as we affectionately call it "the Crick."  His family was very committed to the religion at that time and making the decision to leave meant that you were dead to everyone there and as a result of that - everyone was also dead to you.  Luckily for Jeff - he has amazing parents who did everything they could to maintain some shred of a relationship with him during this time without getting themselves into trouble which would result in them being "kicked-out."  For years I can't imagine how his parents must have agonized over essentially losing their oldest son.  Being a mother myself - I have realized how much stronger his sweet mom is than I will ever be. 

Jeff and I were married in May of 2002.  I thought I had basically married an orphan of sorts until one morning in March of 2003.  I dropped Jeff off at school and went about my errands for that day because I had the day off.  I got a call right around lunch time and Jeff asked me to come get him right then.  It sounded urgent so I dropped everything and buzzed up to the university to get him.  As he got in the car he had a weird look on his face.  It would have been more likely for him to say that he just found out that an asteroid was about to hit the earth than for him to say that his family was leaving the Crick.  I certainly wasn't prepared for that or for what was to come in the following week. 

Jeff was an orphan no more and we all had our work cut out for us.  Typically when someone is kicked out - their wife or wives are reassigned with the children to another man in town and the biological father is left to his own vices while spending an enormous amount of time, money, and emotional torment trying to get back into the good graces of Warren Jeffs....just so you know - the good graces part never happens. 

I'd like to say that I was a saint and that I was totally on board with helping them out but I wasn't.  I was a complete brat.  Being a husband was now his third priority which followed 1. son and 2. big brother.  I helped and eventually got on board a little at a time but if I were being completely honest - I would have to admit that I digressed a lot and became more of a frustration to Jeff than a partner in solving problems. 

When a family leaves the crick some pretty remarkable things happen: 1. Right before the actual move takes place an army of FLDS members work them over and tell them that if they leave they are going to hell and their salvation is basically shot.  2.  A huge number of outsiders are willing to help but they don't know how so they don't.  3. The family has been taught that outsiders are bad people so they don't ask anyone for help. 4. The family that is leaving goes through a bit of culture shock and works for the next few years to assimilate into what we call "normal life." Lots more things happen but these are some of the biggies.

When Jeff's dad's family left - some of them stayed.  The older kids were being worked over by the FLDS members and people pleaded with them to stay and "be saved" so to speak.  Jeff's dad told the kids who were basically older than twelve that they could choose if they wanted to stay or go with him.  Again, being a parent myself - I can't imagine leaving that decision up to my 12 year old but knowing their family - it makes sense and it was best for their family.  Jeff's dad took all the younger kids but 5 of the older kids stayed.  They quickly dismantled all ties with any of us and went on to have marriages arranged and start their families.  While helping Jeff's dad's family get settled into their new life he saw the opportunity to get his brother Mark on a productive path since he was old enough to start his new life.  Mark is the "second oldest" in the family now that the 5 oldest between Jeff and Mark stayed.  So without really talking to me - Mark now had a new place to stay and a new life to start...on the living room couch of our one bedroom apartment.  What the????  This was also another time in my life where I was not a productive member of the solution and opportunity that was right in front of me.  I wish I could go back and fix that but I can't. We all have moments like those.  Nevertheless - it happened and we are all better off for the experience.  Mark is now doing awesome and has an amazing fiance. 

Flash forward about ten years, 3 kids, and several moves later - we are now on the front lines.  Within 3 weeks of moving back to Utah - we get the opportunity of a lifetime!!  Jeff's brother Don (one of the older ones who stayed) is now married to Carol - She is one of those girls who is amazing at everything.  Her first sentence to me after our introductions was "so do you sew?"  I thought "Oh crap...I can clean up from sewing!" Anyway, they have four adorable children who range in age from 2 to 7.  They told Jeff last week that they are leaving the Crick!  My kids have more cousins YAY!!

Don asked if they could come down and have their little family meet Jeff and me and the kids.  We had them over for a quiet evening and it was perfect.  The kids bonded and played and we sat and talked.  They have found much comfort and solace in the LDS Children's songbook.  Their kids know just about every song in there.  They sang for us and it was so touching.  We loved it. 

Shortly after that, Don called and wanted to meet Jeff's dad's family that left back in 2003...all of them.  People - this doesn't happen.  It was an amazing opportunity and we all jumped at the chance to make it happen.  We had this gathering at my parents' home.  It is a big, neutral area where everyone can feel comfortable.   This happened last night and it was better than anyone could have imagined.  Jeff's mom and dad cried tears of joy while hearing Don's little ones sing their songs.  The night was full of hope, love, and happiness.  I loved it! 

So now the challenge comes!  They are trying to leave next Sunday before the situation there deteriorates - this is something that can happen overnight.  They are leaving with a truck, their children, and the clothes on their back. There may be some small animals who make the journey also, but Don and Carol's family is essentially leaving without anything to speak of. 

I have the most amazing family and friends, and many of you have approached me in the past and told me that if there is ever anything they can do to help people who are trying to get out of the FLDS community to let them know.  As I stated before - The time has come where everyone has the capacity to help if they are willing.  A paypal account has been set up to help them as financial donations are needed the most.  When you live in the Crick and you are a part of the FLDS community - you never see your paycheck.  It is mandatory that they are given to the church and you are left only with a request form to try to get only what you absolutely need.  You may question the legality of this strategy but it's pointless to do so as is evident by the ongoing mess  that is occurring there now.  There's no reason to even fight it.  Anyway - I am including a donate button on this blog that is connected with the account that is set up for them.  Our family is helping them all that we can but we would greatly appreciate any help we can get.  100% of the donations will go to them. 

Thank you for any help you can give.  Even $5 would go a long way for them. 

Feel free to share this link with anyone you know - My personal goal is to raise $5,000 for them.

Thank you and we love you all!!